Second in a series (yikes!)
The president is giving a post-Midterm election speech on television
Citizens of the United States, the greatest country on Earth, my country, our country
(hesitates, glances to the rear of the room)
I am here before you to discuss some grave news. I will get right to the point. The republic is in crisis. Although we have just held a seemingly normal election, federal and state agencies, working in tandem, have discovered something more sinister at the bottom of it.
(pauses, once again looks to rear of room)
This election was not conducted fairly or under democratic principles. We have discovered that many results were manipulated by external forces. Currently we have identified several races that do not reflect the actual winner. We will be releasing the full list shortly. Because the evidence is overwhelming any ‘false winners’ will not be seated in January until the results can be verified by our team.
It appears that several million fake votes were cast, many by non-citizens, many that were fabricated completely by hackers, many even by dead people. Initial data points to the same sources that falsely attributed several million non-existent votes to Hillary Clinton but we have no conclusion yet. It appears to the government that over 100 Democrat House candidates and over 20 Democrat governor candidates that were proclaimed winners, I mean Gubernatorial (pronounced Goo-Vern-a-turial) — were not really victorious, based on our verifiable data. These ‘false winners’ will not be acknowledged until full recounts have been accomplished, filtering out votes we know to be fake. For now the Republican candidates will be declared the winners.
The government’s evidence will remain classified and under seal for the foreseeable future.
I would like to introduce Kris Kobach, a veteran crusader for Democracy and the head of the new Task Force Fair Election USA. Kris was one of the first to identify the nefarious forces undermining our democracy and there is no one I trust more to handle and solve our vote fraud problems once and for all. There is no one YOU should trust more …
… besides myself of course
(gives 2 thumbs up and grins)
Kobach steps up,
Thank You sir. As we and the American people, know, voter fraud has infected the United Stets for several years now. I think we can finally do battle with a full set of resources. We will be reporting further shortly.
Trump gives half-smile
That is great
Trump is distracted, glances to the rear again. Recognizes someone …
Elbows Kobach out of the way. Kobach leaves the stage.
There’s one more person I’m going to introduce. Brett Kavanaugh is joining me on the broadcast.
Kavanaugh walks into the picture. It seems apparent that this was not in the script for the telecast.
Trump vigorously pumps his hand, pulls him rather forcibly to center-stage. Kavanaugh appears uneasy.
This is another example of why fake news cannot win. We will win. The Democrats are spreading fake news with these fake wins. We will reveal how much they lost by.
(pauses, sneers …)
Telecast Fades to Black