The New Election Strategy 2

Second in a series (yikes!)

The president is giving a post-Midterm election speech on television

Citizens of the United States, the greatest country on Earth, my country, our country

(hesitates, glances to the rear of the room)

(restarts)

Fellow Americans,

I am here before you to discuss some grave news. I will get right to the point. The republic is in crisis. Although we have just held a seemingly normal election, federal and state agencies, working in tandem, have discovered something more sinister at the bottom of it.

(pauses, once again looks to rear of room)

This election was not conducted fairly or under democratic principles. We have discovered that many results were manipulated by external forces. Currently we have identified several races that do not reflect the actual winner. We will be releasing the full list shortly. Because the evidence is overwhelming any ‘false winners’ will not be seated in January until the results can be verified by our team.

It appears that several million fake votes were cast, many by non-citizens, many that were fabricated completely by hackers, many even by dead people. Initial data points to the same sources that falsely attributed several million non-existent votes to Hillary Clinton but we have no conclusion yet. It appears to the government that over 100 Democrat House candidates and over 20 Democrat governor candidates that were proclaimed winners, I mean Gubernatorial (pronounced Goo-Vern-a-turial) — were not really victorious, based on our verifiable data. These ‘false winners’ will not be acknowledged until full recounts have been accomplished, filtering out votes we know to be fake. For now the Republican candidates will be declared the winners.

The government’s evidence will remain classified and under seal for the foreseeable future.

I would like to introduce Kris Kobach, a veteran crusader for Democracy and the head of the new Task Force Fair Election USA. Kris was one of the first to identify the nefarious forces undermining our democracy and there is no one I trust more to handle and solve our vote fraud problems once and for all. There is no one YOU should trust more …

… besides myself of course

(gives 2 thumbs up and grins)

Kobach steps up,

Thank You sir. As we and the American people, know, voter fraud has infected the United Stets for several years now. I think we can finally do battle with a full set of resources. We will be reporting further shortly.

Trump gives half-smile

That is great

Trump is distracted, glances to the rear again. Recognizes someone …

Elbows Kobach out of the way. Kobach leaves the stage.

There’s one more person I’m going to introduce. Brett Kavanaugh is joining me on the broadcast.

Kavanaugh walks into the picture. It seems apparent that this was not in the script for the telecast.

Trump vigorously pumps his hand, pulls him rather forcibly to center-stage. Kavanaugh appears uneasy.

This is another example of why fake news cannot win. We will win. The Democrats are spreading fake news with these fake wins. We will reveal how much they lost by.

(pauses, sneers …)

Millions!

Telecast Fades to Black

 

Interview with the Emperor

Dateline Vancouver, British Columbia, sometime in 2026. Donald Trump is in town for a celebrity golf tournament. Steve Bannon is the current president of the United States.

The Press, as it may have looked prior to the 2020 purges, has essentially disappeared from the USA. Fox News functions as a government entity run by the Department of Homeland Security. CNN has moved to Switzerland and while it continues to cover American politics, its website is blocked by the DHS firewall. The firewall also restricts access to many other formerly prominent media outlets, such as the Washington Post Company, the New York Times, CBS and many others. Accessing any content, digital, printed or otherwise, is punishable by a 3 month jail sentence. Third (or more) time offenders are eligible for treason charges.

Trump weighs 350 pounds and is confined to a wheelchair with Type 2 diabetes. Bannon’s first action as president was to execute an order placing Trump’s visage on all American currency (congressional ratification of any policy or law is a formality and always 100%, effective with the Anti-Treason Executive Action of 2023).

Today Donald Trump has invited Canadian journalist Peter Sensibaugh for a no-holds barred interview, where he promises to speak candidly about his time in office. He has agreed that no question or topic is off limits, excepting his family’s finances. This interview could not take place on American soli anymore, due to the Anti-Treason laws executed in 2021. Many suspect Trump wishes to unburden himself after a controversial 8 years that reshaped American society and the world order. Others in Canada speculate he simply wants more attention, as he has somewhat faded from the daily news cycle.

Peter Sensibaugh (PS): Good Morning Sir

Donald Trump (DT): Good Morning

PS: There are a large number of topics that Canadians are curious about. As you know, President Bannon recently threatened to terminate diplomatic relations with Canada and has hinted about arming the border. This comes on the heels of suspending trade with Canada last year. This has many people nervous. Is it your opinion that this state of affairs is preferable to the relationship in place prior to 2016?

DT: No question about it. I made border security a top priority during my terms and I delivered. The wall finally got built and once we added those machine guns at the top (chuckles to himself, trails off …). In any case the Canadians have laughed at us for decades over the porous border and I’m glad Steve’s putting a stop to it. No one’s laughing at the USA anymore. That free trade nonsense was a great source of comedy to the rest of the world.

We offered Canada a prime role in a new USA that would include Canada in the federation and allow provinces to maintain states’ rights similar to what we enjoy in the US. That was a pretty good deal, and Canada turned it down.

PS: The inflation rate in the US is now over 20% and the dollar has been replaced with Bitcoin II as the primary international currency.

DT: The inflation is whatever we say it is. Black market currency dealing is a treasonous offense.

PS: Let’s talk about the press purge in 2021. May feel that was a decisive turning point both in US history and the world events.

DT: I think when you have an institution that is spreading lies, and won’t stop doing it despite repeated warnings, then action has to be taken.

PS: Freedom of the Press is in the 1st Amendment.

DT: (glares silently)

DT: We’ve heard this nonsense before and I’m glad we’ve put a stop to it. If you yell Fire! In a theater, that’s not covered. The lying ‘press’ was yelling fire every single day. The got what they deserved. As early as 2016 I mentioned that the constant stream of fake news was treasonous. We cannot condone treasonous activity.

PS: The subsequent suicides of several journalists in jail seemed very tragic and also a remarkable coincidence.

DT: Listen, these were unstable individuals. Pathological liars really. They were going to be in jail for a long time anyway after the treason convictions, and my only regret is that we did not guard more fully against these actions prior to the trials.

PS: The subsequent trials were compared to Stalinist show trials.

DT: Not by anyone in the American media. We effectively cleaned that up. And we’ve relocated a lot of those characters to work camps. If they show proper change of attitude, they’re back in society in a few years from now.

PS: You claimed that coverage of the 2020 election was pretext for the Journalism purge

DT: After the widespread fraud and misreporting of the 2018 midterms we could not tolerate more fake news. The Liberal press was complicit in both trying to bring down the administration as well as spreading the lie that the elections were honest

Note: The Democrats decisively won the house and took control of the senate in the 2018 midterms. The Trump administration immediately filed suit to invalidate the election, and as Supreme Court ruling prevented the newly elected representatives and senators from taking office until further study and full recounts and investigations into voter fraud.

PS: Would you entertain the possibility that the Democrats won the midterms?

DT: Not a chance. Completely fraudulent. Wake up man! The Russians have colluded with the Democrats from the start, and we have evidence that millions of illegal aliens voted Democratic, some several times.

PS: Have you released that evidence?

DT: It’s classified. We have acted appropriately.

PS: Are you referring to the 2020 election, where Latinos were not allowed to vote?

DT: You are misstating the facts. I thought you Canadians had learned from events to the South. No American citizens were prevented from voting. However we had overwhelming reports of potential fraud in certain areas and among certain groups. We had to take precautions.

PS: It was reported that it could take Latino voters over an hour to cast their vote, and that each voter was interrogated regarding their citizenship status.

DT: That was necessary to safeguard the election.

Note: Even with a record low Latino turnout, Trump barely won the election. It was widely speculated that the vote totals were fraudulent in many precincts and, based on exit polls and pre-election polling that he lost decisively.

DT: After the misreporting in 2020 we had to take action. The Liberal press were no longer journalists, they were traitors. Continuing to question policy and criticize the countrys’leaders plays right into the hands of our enemies. Our enemies laughed at us when they read the liberal press reports.

PS: So you arrested them all.

DT: We arrested traitors based on the constitution.

PS: Can you go into the disenfranchisement of Latinos, another 2021 policy initiative?

DT: Well, you fellows to the North are just as bad as the traitors in jail. There is no disenfranchisement. Our investigators have uncovered overwhelming evidence of citizenship fraud among Latinos, mostly Mexicans of course.

PS: And this is related to the voter fraud?

DT: There is a large overlap.

PS: Is it fair to completely suspend all Social Security, Disability and other government payments to the groups while under investigation.

DT: Of course. Eventually we will reveal that they are not really citizens and they will be lawfully deported. In the meantime why would we give them money they are not entitled to? We have overwhelming support from real Americans on this issue.

PS: Let’s talk a bit about the rehabilitation of President Bannon. You did an about face on his presidential candidacy, several years after forcing his resignation from your administration.

Steve Bannon won the presidency in 2024 with 85% of Electoral College votes. International election watchers consider the results fraudulent. Following widespread rioting, there were mass arrests, leading to the establishment of ‘tent prisons’ in the Nevada desert. These tented camps have been growing and are estimated to hold over 30,000 political prisoners at this time.

DT: Steve and I never disagreed; he was just getting too far ahead of the script and trying to do his own thing. No one usurps Donald Trump. In any case we have a good team in place – Donald Jr. as VP, Jared at State and Ivanka doing Defense. We think Steve will step down after one term and let Donald Jr. run. We like his chances. (winks, gives thumbs up)

DT: OK, we are done Peter. I have a little surprise. The joke is on you, and this interview will never be published.

Trumps nods to his bodyguard, who opens the door and lets in several more large men in black suits.

DT: You’re under arrest for treason. I’ll tell you, I don’t have that much opportunity for fun like this anymore. But Steve, Jared and I were planning this for a while. You dumb Canadians should not have turned down the alliance

Roughly at this time the United States declared that Canada was now part of the North American Federation of America. US Troops move aggressively over the border. Martial law has been declared in Canada. The Stock Market closes slightly down.

 

Chinese Interests Purchase Democratic Party

The Prognost-o-matic™

In a controversial move, the Trump administration has sold the Democratic Party to Chinese interests in return for forgiving $400 billion of US debt held by China in the form of Treasury Bills, Notes, and Bonds. After heated arguments and various legal maneuvers along party lines, the Supreme Court approved the constitutionality of the transaction in a 5-4 vote.

In addition the Chinese government has made a promise to refrain from dumping its additional dollar holdings, now numbering roughly $1.2 trillion.

Despite widespread protests, the move was deemed an “inevitable” evolution of the synthesis of politics and economic interests in some circles.

The Democratic Party has been purchased by a joint venture headed by Geely Automobile and the Chinese government. There are various smaller entities that will have a smaller stake, including Alibaba and the Beijing Sinobo Guoan F.C. soccer team. Timetables for the full takeover were not disclosed.

Said Chinese President Xi Jinping of the move, “This is not an attempt to meddle in the affairs of the United States but it does give us a seat at the table. We have a great many interests in North America and this purchase will allow us to grow both the Chinese and Democratic brands in a way beneficial to both countries.”

Geely chairman Li Shufu added a prepared statement that read in part, ”We are excited to add the Democratic Party to our portfolio. We feel this will dovetail perfectly with the Volvo brand, making Volvo the official car of American Democrats now more than ever.

Rumors that Guangzhou FC chairman Gao Han would be named the new Democratic Party chairman were unconfirmed. However Gao also issued a brief prepared statement, asserting “our motto is ‘be the best forever’, and we hope to describe the Democrats that way soon.”

The Democratic Party will not be renamed in the foreseeable future, according to the principals involved in the acquisition.

Republicans Change Name to White People’s Party

Look into the Future as The Houseplant Presents:

Prognost-o-matic™

In a long anticipated move advocated by President Trump and Special Confidant without Portfolio (SCP) Steve Bannon, the Republican party has changed its name to The White People’s Party. Said the president: “The term ‘Republican’ has a lot of messy history. It says country club. It says elitist. It says Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice. We’re all about something brave and new now”. Myself and my amazing staff have discussed fully realizing real Americans’ vision for the future, and that includes accurate names for everything.

Said press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders: “We received a little blowback from the NSWPP [the dormant National Socialist White People’s Party] regarding rights to the name, but after a meeting we convinced them that this move is for the betterment of all Americans, including our traditionally Aryan friends.”

Sanders  added “Naturally the media will get this completely wrong. All Americans are welcome to be White People. In fact we encourage it whole-heartedly. Personally I would never be part of any exclusionary party.” Upon hearing of Sanders’  remarks the president thrust 2 thumbs up and exclaimed “Sarah is just amazing. And so are White People”.

Said Paul Ryan, “I think the president is on the right track here and should be given enough room to make his vision work. Personally I’m proud to be both a white person and in the White People’s Party. The haters trying to divide our great country  will cry racism, but this new, better vision of America has no room for racism or hate.”